Coffee House Rules 2

Photo by Rod Long at Unsplash.com

What are societies rules for flourishing in a shared space? Why do some people shy away from sitting at a communal space and why some go into it with ease? What is needed in this communal space to be a viable community space? Oh Sociology you keep me on my toes. Ray Oldenburg has a theory that we need a home space, a work space, and a third place. He says: "They are locations where we exchange ideas, have a good time, and build relationships." If we do not talk to one another in this space it is not a viable third place. It should be an enticing place that draws us in and allows each and every person a place of safety. It is a place where ideas and conversations flow as fast as the coffees are poured. It is where you can meet and discuss books, musics, relationships. It is a place to come and just be yourself without judgement or harassment and make new friends. 

A Great Good Place This is where you can find Mr. Oldenburg on the web. He is  worth a look!

Community in spirit, community in thought, community in activities. Community is defined as

1. • 
     
2. a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.

   "the sense of community that organized religion can provide"

While talking to others we are less lonely. We learn that other people are struggling with the same issues. We learn we can help others. We connect on a level that we need to be better people. We can build friendships, partnerships, and spaceships if you want. Honestly though you should probably follow a few etiquette rules.Perhaps not sit down unless you ask if the seat is taken. Or saying hello to the others at a community table before setting up for hours there. If you want to start a reading group, make sure you talk to the establishment first. Check when is good for their business and make sure the people coming do not bring their own food and drink into an establishment that serves those items. It really is just rude. If you are shy maybe sit on the peripheral of a group at first and just listen. Do not judge, but have open receptive ears and then the next time maybe smile at them and just work your way up to sitting with the group. 

Your third place should feel like a home away from home. It is about being open to others. No judgement, no hate, just listening and communicating and building a community of others around you.  Soon you will be meeting new friends, new partners in a venture, or any number of great new things, but it takes time in a third place and being open to new beginnings. 

Next time you are out, try smiling at people, put down your phone for a minute, and connect with someone in a very genuine way.Say hello to the person in line in front of you at the coffee house, the barber shop, the antique store, and I promise you will feel much better about yourself, the world, and all the people who live in it with you.

Happy Friend Making,

Your story teller/poet

Debbie

xoxox