Thanksgiving Blues
Thanksgiving is a time with family, friends ,and loved ones, but as 2020 keeps on being a shitty year, this year loved ones were on computers and phones saying Happy thanksgiving, which left many of us with the thanksgiving blues. This year has been so disjointed. It has twisted us, bent us, and tried to break us. We live in a perpetual state of darkness. Some of us are still working, but we rarely see our co workers and when we do, well then we are anxious and want them to go away fast. Life has changed from us being friendly to us feeling blue to us feeling anxiety.
This year I was put on medication for anxiety. This year I did not see my kids for thanksgiving. This year sucks on so many level. While I realize I am lucky to still be working and food on my table, I also realize feeling blue is ok. This has been a year of great loss for many of us. We grieve what what used to do, the friends we used to hang out with, the places we could safely go and have fun and let loose. I go to work, home, food store, repeat.
This year sets in motion so many different things that we do not even know are coming. This year put us in solitude and many have enjoyed the peace and slowing down, while others are blue and battling our demons while stuck at home. Some of us have taken to art. I have rediscovered my love of sketching and I have seen some amazing art come out of my friends who did not know they could be a painter, sculpture, or writer. 2020 seems to be a year of introspection. We cannot turn outwards to the world, but inward to see what we can do to keep sane.
As thanksgiving was yesterday, I sat and ate, but realized I was just going through the motions. I was not thankful, I was having full on panic attacks. I was worried about everything from new healthy recipes to people in my house (even though everyone has been at home for over 2 weeks ) My anxiety was high. I just wanted to go back to bed.I know I am not the only one feeling this way. I just wanted to go into the woods and hike.
The woods are my happy peaceful place.
I crave the solitude before this mess known as 2020 hell. I love to listen to nature. Reconnect to the earth and just be with mother nature. Black friday has me craving a state park, but I know so many will go out today and it is not safe. So I look at photos and I think tomorrow morning I will hike locally and see nature and be ok again. Right now though my anxiety is at bay, but I know it will come rushing back like a tsunami. Right now I hope you are ok as well, but I wanted to saying having the blues is ok. Having trouble right now is ok. Right now just living is enough. Sometimes it is even to much.
Know you are not alone if you were blue for thanksgiving and for the holiday season. Honestly I am done with 2020 as I know most of you are as well. This year has been hard to say the least. This year has been a test, only a test, and next year will be better. Little by little we will be ok. Know right now though if you are feeling blue you are not alone. If you need to reach out to someone, a therapist, a friend, there is no shame. In fact this year alone should be done together, but apart. Connect with people but do it so you can see them. So you can really see and hear them. Life is so hard right now.
Having the winter blues.
Right now life feels blue, we sometimes or all the time feel down. We feel panic. Keep saying Life will be ok. The winter will hush the entire world inside. Now at least we can hike, walk, stroll, but soon winter will happen and we will be confined to our homes, snow days abound, kids going off the walls in the house. Life will happen outside while we stay warm inside. Stock up on books, stock up on art supplies. Search youtube for new arts you can do inside. Set up a studio, sell your items online if you want, or send them to family and friends. Being blue right now is ok. Feeling is ok. We are focused on how we feel as we are inside, and I understand those thanksgiving blues. Life is hard.
I took up knitting a few years ago, but through this all it has helped my hands and mind stay busy. I have revived my panting skills, my drawing skill, any new skills I have picked up are bonus ones. Youtube has taught me how to draw the cutest bunnies. I love my pencil sets. I love shading. I draw cute bunny ears, fur, and that puffy tail and I even framed one on my wall. This year has been so challenging to remain positive, but sometime it is just ok to say this year sucks and move in. Try and find some outlet even if you stroll through your neighborhood. I pray 2021 is better, but hello we did not know 2020 was going to be shit.
Here are to happy holidays, blue holidays, and holidays we just get through. Thanksgiving was that for me. The anxiety was palpable. The panic attacks new. I just moved one foot in front of the other until they subsided. Yes I need to figure that out, but I made it through and so can you. If you do need help please reach out to a professional. I feel they probably made enough money in 2020 but you know we need to keep them around in 2021 to deal with the fall out of 2020.
I wish you much contentment in this holiday season we are in. Christmas is less then a month. I pray you , well and I, make it through without more battle scars, but if we struggle, if we have the blues, well than that is ok to. Hang in there, know you are not alone, and always reach out to someone if you need mental health help. I know there is still a stigma with therapy, but we just need to be honest. 2020 sucked. It took its toll on us even if we do not know yet what it is, but we know there will be some outcome we can not figure out yet on how the year affected us.
Hope you are well, safe, and feeling loved, but if not I am sending you love and light.
Your storyteller/poet
Debbie
xoxoxoxoox
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