Ebb & Flow

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                                                        Jumping off the Deep End 
Life lately seems precarious at best. It teeters, it totters, and I feel at any moment it will collapse under my feet. Covid has me not trusting others, second-guessing myself, and doubting my abilities in so many of my pursuits. Life has me wondering if what I have done with my life, what I have accomplished is enough? Covid was a game-changer for all of us. Some are not going back into the workforce, some are but with new careers, and some of us just struggled to breathe and get to the other side of this chaos. 

I felt this photo above when I took it. I was standing on the dock, looking down into the water, watching it ebb and flow and I thought, well I am ebbing and flowing too. I am ever-changing on the precipice of change. I can flow, I can ebb, I can be anything I want. I started writing more. I finished my book, upped my game at work, and started tackling more challenges. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and I am so happy I did. I am learning new things at work. I am achieving new heights in my life. I am on the edge and I am jumping in with both feet.

If you have been following me for a while you know I suffer on and off from depression. I have battled anxiety through covid, and I fear I am not alone. I have worked through my struggles and while they are not gone, they are in the flow and not ebb. They are ebbing away some. I know we are still in this mess called life and covid, but I am thankful for being able to write,  create,  sketch, to be able to be creative, and be fulfilled by my work again.

I have written about being cozy, well through this all I have drank tons of tea, read books on the Danish and their cozy life. I have read about simplifying and Goodwill has made out from me purging things. I have lightened my life in both the physical sense and the emotional sense. I have made my life simpler with less to clean and more time to enjoy my family. I have snuggled under blankets and kissed lots of cheeks. I have struggled to push myself to live what I consider a normal life.

I have stood on the edge and looked into the water and decided if I was more scared on the edge or I would be more scared in the water, and I dove in. I ebbed and flowed and moved and lived and published articles and wrote my way through this time. Journaling has helped me come to terms with my mental health and it has given me a way to process anything going on with me. I rambled through the pages until what was happening in my life made sense to me again. 

Supposedly we are getting to the end of Covid, but who knows? And whoever knows is not sharing it with us. We are all just doing our best to survive, but now it is time again to thrive. Work on your art, your friendships, your life, and let's see if we dive into it all if we do not come out stronger on the other side. Perhaps all we have recently dealt with will make us stronger and will make us pursue what we truly want to do in life with us all pivoting. 

I pray you are well, you are stronger, and you are living your life and showing love to all.

Your story teller/poet
Debbie
xoxoxox

PS. How are you really? 


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