Mother's Day is coming in hot and my mother died. This will be the first Mother's Day without her. My sister has plans that day, and I do not, but our hearts will be on Mom no matter what we do. There is no running away from grief. Grief will fill our minds, and our hearts, and keep us focused on her passing away. Our minds will wander to her and wonder where she is in this vast universe. We will think of the last time we saw her, hugged, her, and talked with her. Grief will bring us back to her last breath. We will try to move on, move past, but you know what I have found out, that is BS. We all have our own grief walk to take. We all have our own correct path to move forward. I have thought about joining a grief support group and then thought perhaps not. I am not so sure I could listen to others...
I find myself recently thinking of traveling again. I love the newness of a place. I get bored with the old. I like learning new about new cultures and making new friends. I have one more year of college and then I am open to moving anywhere. I would love a job with writing of course as I am an English major, but I do not limit myself to that. I open my heart and soul to wandering. I think if we stay around the same people too much we disappoint them. They are bound to get tired of us, or us them, at some point. Ive recently realize if we attach to someone, some place, or something we will eventually get hurt. Everything that has a beginning has an end. All relationships start and end. All our time in a place starts and ends. Nothing lasts forever. Buddhists say if you do not get attached to anything or anyone you will not be hurt. Easier said then done. Pfft! I always thought my lack of attachment to people or places was a bad thing. If we go with the Buddhist's way then I am ...
I have long known I am an empathetic person. I have always felt other peoples emotions deeply. Sometimes I wish I could turn it off, but recently I realized how much of a gift it is. I can hurt with them, I can share in the highs, I can be there fully for those who need me. I think it is a gift really. I might not always understand what the person has gone through, but I listen and feel the hurt down to my soul. It shakes me to my core and allows me to empathize with the person. This empathy is dangerous to me and my own happiness. While I feel other peoples emotions so deeply,I notice I feel mine even more. With every good or bad thing that happens I realize how much it resonates with my soul. It takes a tole on my body sometimes and that is not good. The definition of an empathic is this: of, relating to, or characterized by empathy , the psychological identification with the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of others: a sensitive, empathetic school couns...
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