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Showing posts from May, 2014

~~~ take my hand~~~

So I have fallen in love. HARD. I am in love with Ed Sheeran's Music. I downloaded "one" by him and the opening line of the song, " tell me you turned down the man who asked for your hand cause you are waiting for me", seems to melt in my ears and heart. I cannot help but think that in my journal lately I find myself more open. Open to a love. Maybe a man, but maybe not. For the first time in a long time I have dealt with forgiveness with people who have not even asked for it. I want that space for other good things in me. I forgave myself for all past things also. Im clearing out space in my heart and soul for great things to fill.

With getting this Camp job, I have also realized as much as I say I do not want to work with kid, I am drawn to them. They love me, I love them. I have just closed that part of me off too. So with camp for two months with ages 5-12 and with my writing workshop taking off in the fall with ages 12-18, I am right back where I was so ma…

life and its own path

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As I move on through life I try to make my own path. Its been hard since I lost my full time job of 13 yrs when the company went out of business. I had worked full time for as long as I could remember. I have come to realize any job I do I do with love and full steam ahead. I realized I do not need to kill myself in an office job I do not like nor really want. My soul new better. I have been able to live ,barely, on my school refund checks for over a full year. I have paid all the bills, I have kept my house. I have worked when the school had rush at the book store for money. And now another journey begins.

First let me say this has not been an easy journey. Money is always tight ,but im closing in on my degree. I fully admit I was starting to think God forgot about me. I keep praying and praying and job interview after job interview,,, and nothing. But God didn't forget about me at all, he knew I wanted to go to school full time since I was 20. He knew I needed this time to clear…

the lotus and the lily ( and forgiveness)

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So I finished my one book and am currently in the lotus and the lily by Janet Conner. I am in the forgiveness week. She refers to people you have to forgive as prisoners in a cell who need to be released. Let me say, once I got to that it hit me, I do have people in life I need to forgive, but the next day she said, "forgive yourself" and it hit me even harder. I really do need to forgive myself. For many crimes I committed against myself. I can bash myself like no one else.  In all honesty I deserve to be loved and deserve to have a happy rich life. Its hard to forgive others, but forgiving yourself is the worst. She talks about when you forgive that space where all the hatred was can have other emotions rushing in. The women is genius and if you haven't read the book I highly recommend it.

I also just finished another Alice Munro book. You become a better writer by,,(lets say it all together), by reading , reading, reading. Alice was recommended to me by a friend. I g…