Lately with coming to the almost end of my looooong college career, I have realized this strength in me. I realize that I have had a hard life.I wont tell you a sad story. I will tell you a story of happiness. I am truly a happy person. Something has changed in me in the last five years. I smile more, I dance more, I go out to see art more and being with friends. I realized I can live a life of great joy.
Recently I have made new friends, I reconnected with a special one, I have gone out hiking more, taking the camera and having small adventures. I actually agreed to a writers conference and presenting a paper. Me! The lady who will not speak in public. Well I am doing two panels and presenting on two amazing authors. Life has opened up. Love has opened my heart. I am enough. I do not need to change to be with anyone friends or otherwise. I will one day be a published author, I will be a well paid photographer and I will have a small life.Well a good life. I dream for the stars as we …
There are certain people in my life who actually inspire me to write. People who encourage me to write. People who are proud of me for writing. Collectively they make up my subconscious when I write. They are influential in my writing style. Some might mean to be, some might not. With all of that said here are two more poems (Yes Spencer I wrote them myself). I hope everyone likes this.
Swallow you Whole
I open my eyes and see you though you are not on your pillow,
I open my heart and see you have been there for me since the very first time I met you.
I open myself up to you, to all the good, but the bad stuff too,
I see your yearning, your unsettled truths, your ghosts.
I see you warmth when you kiss my hand,
I see how amazing we can be.
but first I see one step and then another,
it is a way of getting to our beginning.
I see a history, a past,
our hearts moving forward for decades.
Why did I say no? Why was I so afraid of a man,
a man who loved me with his whole heart.