Showing posts from December, 2014

New Year:2015 Goals and Dreams

So it is that time of year again when we reflect on our lives and the year that has past. We realize how much we have accomplished or how lack thereof we haven't. We look at the new adventures we had or the ones we let slip by. We look back,so that we can look forward. With learning about Buddhists and their living in the moment, I still see myself looking back and forward at this time of year.

This year has been a hard one for me financially, but I made it to the end of the year and I am proud that I made it. I realize how far I have come in my college degree and how hard I have worked to raise my grades to a 3.5. I know I am strong. I know I am fierce. I know I can do it, but , oh that but. I think it is an evil word sometimes. I did this, But. I went here, but   I loved this, but  but But BUT

Why as a human race do we see what we have done,our many accomplishments and think but I could have done more. We are human. We do our best. I for one do not need the best of everything. A…

Winter Solstice: Long Dark Night

Tonight I went to a church type meeting about Winter Solstice and how dark, for some people, this time of year is. I have written before about my own struggles with this issue and shared, but tonight was different. Tonight we lit candles and were reminded that though we are in the darkest hours of the year we are also now on our way into the light.

I had a friend who was supposed to go, but he had to work, so afterwards I brought my candle and star of hope to him. We were told to take our light and go share it with someone else who needs it. He is struggling with some personal issues and I wish him much love and light always. I knew I would give him mine immediately.

Why is it though that we do not talk to each other about the darkness? We consider ourselves good people, we consider ourselves friends, but when it comes down to the darkness a lot of us rather swiftly throw it under a rug than talk to a friend about it. This friend and I are open and honest about everything, but you kno…


So tis the holiday season and supposed to be peaceful. In all honesty it is anything other than peaceful. With running errands, trimming the tree, wrapping presents for everyone and cooking from Thanksgiving to Christmas, the season has become anything, but peaceful.

I have been MIA from my normal routine, which is not a bad thing, but this holiday season I am not about the Norman Rockwell Christmas. I am about spending time with church family and friends. I am about Winter solstice. I am about helping,friendships, and being there for the people who mean the most to me. (yes you know who you are)

Today was a tough day. A lot of serious items got discussed with a few people and while I usually blend it with humor. I have not. Last season I wrote a blog post about depression and the holidays. So many of you reached out to me. You all knew what I was going through. I think we all strive for that Rockwell Christmas and always fall short and it lets us down and we feel we let others down.…

Life: Being Present and Riding the Wave

So I am going to admit I am I was one of the worst people who jump ahead into a relationship.First day with a new friend and im like maybe we can do this or that or in a month this. Hello I don't know what will happen in a month. I only know whats happening now.  Be it a friendship, a relationship, a family issue. Whatever!! I leap, I jump, I hop skip leap AND jump. I figure out whats going to happen down the road years, months ,days, before anything happens. I wait,,literally wait for the other shoe to drop. I have been studying Buddhism and as I have said before, I am not one, but the way of living. The change of behaviors. The just being in the present is something I have worked very hard at doing. They are right when they say you cannot change the past, you do not know what the future holds, but what you do know is right now.

With that said I realized with a few instances lately that I am present. I am right there right now and that is all. I realized I was missing the moment…

Connections: That which ground us, but lift us up!

In our daily life we agree to meet with many different people. We agree to go to meetings, coffee, friends houses, and many other meet ups. I think we agree to all these meet ups because we like the connections. Do we need to connect? I think so. If all you wanted to do was talk to someone couldn't you just make a phone call? *which by the way, still a connection* As human beings we yearn to connect. We yearn at our basic core to feel a connection without judgement. To have people in our lives who accept us as we are.

Sometimes we overload connect. We meet up with to many people. We agree to do to much. And let me say I will be the first to admit I was guilty of this too. It took me many years to say no without feeling horrible about it. Now I limit who I see, what I do, and what groups I become involved with.

A recent new favorite Buddha saying has pointed out to me that we need more calming people. We need friends who connect with us on a deeper level and we need to weed out the…

Holiday Traditions and Compassion

With the holidays fast approaching this year I find new hope and love in new traditions and people. We USED to all gather and watch the Rockefeller Christmas tree lighting on TV and eat popcorn and have cocoa. This year I watched it alone, but I still had my cocoa. We used to string popcorn and fruits to hang outside for the birds. We don't do that anymore. We used to roll pine cones in peanut butter and then nuts for the birds,,no more.

 We used to,we used to, we used to ..... I am not sad about us not doing these traditions anymore. I am learning to adapt to new ones. The list can go on and on, but I know the kids treasured those moments growing up. I have high hopes when and if they have their own children they will carry on some of the old traditions. This year I hope to have some new holiday craft to do with my kids. Last year we made felt ornaments that now fill my tree. My son is 24 and my daughter is 20, but I treasure the times we spend doing activities like this. T…