Poem 2

So sharing again. This is my 2nd poem in my one class. First is the rough draft, 2nd is the new copy.

Henderson Stadium Heat

                Bold black tires go rolling by, piles of them by every car.

    I hear the impact gun, then, “Get the slicks on.”

    The pavements blurry; intense sun,

    suntan lotion is oily and  grease drips right off my skin.

                People start talking smack, once tech check is over,

                cone killers are everywhere; you can’t seem to hit just one.

   “I never hit cones; well I only hit one”, two second penalty.

    Times adding up; it’s time for the next groups run.

My tent comes in handy; it blocks the bright glaring sun,

everyone comes in; you breath is all gone; this heat.

Orange coolers being opened,  water being guzzled down.

Sweat and melting; the heats so intense for this next run.

Tail wagging, mouth panting, where did this dog come from?

He stayed in my tent, we rehydrate again.

Then shading my new friend, he dreamed his sweet dreams,

My dog just passed, God knew I needed a friend.

Spacings a little off, but you get the jist,, this is the rewrite 

Henderson Stadium Race

             Bald black tires go rolling by, piles of them by every car.

             You hear the impact gun, then, “Get the slicks on.”

 The pavements blurry; the intense sun,

Oily suntan lotion on their skin; grease dripping off.

Tech check is over; cars in a line, exhaust fill the air;

            cone killers all around; they can’t seem to hit just one.

“I never hit cones; well I only hit one”, two second penalty!

Times adding up; it’s time for the next groups run.

Blazing sun blocked by the tent;  people huddling under.

Orange coolers on the ground,  they inhale water by the gallon.

Sweating they put their helmets back on; time to line up again.

Back to the start, checking timing clocks,: “ ok let’s run.”

Melting away on the pavement, more tents go up;

Gathered under, they complain of today.

Trophies are handed out; tons of new people came;

cones packed up, the trailers locked, everyone scatters away.

working on my showing and less telling and more descriptive language. 

And working on my first fiction store. Im on chpt 3. I hope to share with you soon.

Till then

God Bless and have a great week

xo

Debbie