Love and its Foundation

When beginning any new friendship or relationship, what is key? The foundation right? So why are so many of us in a rush to skip ahead. We are all gushing and jumping into new friendships, relationships, and we get hurt and lose that person in our life. Why have we become an instant gratification society and are no longer willing to put in the time and effort to build lasting relationships.

When we meet someone new we need to spend time with them. We need to learn what they like, what makes them tick, what hobbies they have, and what their core values are. You can ask people this, make a list and move on, or you can actually spend time with this person. You can do activities with them and talk. Yes hours and hours of talking. Days and days of doing things with them. You need to invest in your new relationship and build a foundation that will last.

Do not rush things. Learn from how you see this person react. Yes they can tell you they are sweet and kind, but actions speak louder than words. We need to observe how this person reacts to different situations and see how they treat us in each situation. Go for walks, go get coffee, go go go. Yes a new foundation is going to take time to build brick by brick.

Loving someone takes a culmination of time, energy, and genuinely caring for the person. Being in love, having a friend to love, spreading love, all of these things take so much work to build with a new person. We seem to want to skip to forever without beginning today. How does that make any sense? If we want a foundation that is strong and can withstand all that life throws at you, then should we just expect our new relationship to be a deep connection with a blink of an eye.

In a world where we can get everything on our phones and there is an app for that, why are we becoming so disconnected from each other. Friendships and relationships take time. Those bottom bricks take time to put down in the correct space. If we put our new person in a box of angry and they were just actually angry one day, then their brick is in the wrong area and the foundation will crumble. We have built a false foundation and will lose the foundation when the house crumbles.

In a world where we can get just about everything at the blink of an eye, are our relationships suffering? I seriously believe they are. Marriages are done in a blink of an eye because hello everything is disposable. Less and less people do not even believe in marriage anymore. I think the way we see people, relationships, and how we commit to another is in such dismay. Even in our friendships. If we lose a friend we can download an app, we can meet someone new in an instant, but we do not connect on that deep level anymore and we are losing out on those deep connections. We are missing those people who will be with us through the crap and good stuff. We go through people quickly and without even thinking of the pain we constantly inflict on others.

Maybe we all need to stop, put down the phones, and actually talk to someone. Maybe we need to smile at a stranger. Maybe we need to open a door for a mom with a stroller. Its a start. Then maybe we need to ask a new friend to coffee and get to know them. REALLY know them deep down which happens only with time and commitment. I for one have some amazing friends I have had for years and years and though we may not all agree, we know what makes each other tick,we respect each other and we have built one hell of a great foundation.

May you start a new foundation today.
Your story teller/poet


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