Coffee House Rules
Coffee Houses are full of people on their phones or laptops or both. There are no connections to anyone. We now go in, get our beverage of choice and plug in our earbuds. We do not smile at the person next to us, we do not speak with our neighbors, our total goal is to go in, get on an electronic, and pray no one wants to talk to us. We are missing the bigger picture. We are not connecting and connection is one key to remaining happy. We need to say hello, we need to ask how someone is, we need to feel like we are part of the bigger picture. When we huddle down and desire to become invisible we battle things like depression, anxiety, and loneliness. Smiling at someone is not going to cure these mental health issues, but smiling accompanied by talking, sharing things about ourselves helps with these items. We battle lonesomeness by connecting with others. We build tribes of friends. We collect people who can aid in our mental health issues. Friends will not solve everything but having someone there with you is pretty great. Having someone who has been through the fire and can help you see through the flames is a helper.
Mr. Rogers always said to find the helpers.If we do not talk to anyone then how can we find them? Do they wear capes? Are they marked by an exclamation point over there head? No. We need to communicate. Remember when we used to speak to each other? People smiled and others smiled back. Now if you smile the other person thinks you are smiling and getting ready to rob them at the same time. Find the helpers, make new friends, build a tribe of true people who will be there through it all for you, AND you get to be there for them too. By the way helping others makes YOU feel good too!
Communication and community are missing from so many lives. It is easier to binge watch a TV show on Netflix then it is to get dressed, go out, and meet people. People are aloof. We pretend we do not see each other. If someone is different in any way then you, we ignore them, they make us uncomfortable. Perhaps a little uncomfortable time spent getting to know someone else is good. It allows us to listen in a heighten state and take in more information. A strong bond is not made in a day, but meeting, talking, phone calls, and time are what is needed to make new friends. Now I am not saying go to a coffee house and stalk someone. I am saying if you see someone wearing something that looks good on them, well tell them "Hey you look great in that" or if you see someone reading a book, ask "Do you recommend that book and why?", or it could be anything. Blue hair? Yes you look amazing, drinking pink unicorn drink, ask "How does it actually taste?" There are a ton of things that link us, pick one, and say something nice to each other.
If you need help making friends here is a video by experts ;)
Happiness with Friends You wont be sorry you watched. They have some great videos so check them out.
Friendships are built one smile at a time, one handshake, one shared moment. Then you take all the moments over a period of time and you build them up. You meet for more coffee and make new friends together. Soon so many people aren't lovely. So many people are feeling less depressed. So many people are connecting, supporting, and building a community of link minded people. Then you go out of the coffee house, you ride bikes together, you deal with cancer together, you do your first 5K together. The point is there are no rules in a coffee house. Well perhaps do not steal the persons coffee, but honestly there needs to be more connection and less lonely people. Reach out to just one person each day and you will be surprised how many people want to talk to you. They want to see if you can be THEIR friend too.
Happy trails to you...
Your storyteller/poet
Debbie
xo
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