Covid Chaos

                                                                 Photo by Myself

When Covid hit were all were instantly thrown into a world full of chaos. Literally one day it was full steam of head, but then the next was a screech and a halt, and life was done as we knew it. We were confined to our homes. We were forced to face our spouses or partners every day all day. Everything in our homes, our relationships, and co-workers was magnified for us to see and deal with, but from home.

I am sure relationships were healed, broken, and all were tested. We now had to deal with someone we were ok with and are now not so ok with them. Any issue we had was magnified. Now we are with this person 24/7 and what was not bothering you, now bothers you. What you found to be a little quirk is now the most annoying sound you ever heard. Does your spouse not know how to put the towel on the hook, how to put a new roll of toilet paper on, or possibly not understand what the hamper is for? We are all dealing with this nonsense. Some people are divorcing, others are now marrying, and some have so many emotional issues they are now dealing with depression or other mental health issues.

For myself covid brought forth my anxiety in huge amounts. What I could hide before covid, I was now forced to show others. I ended up in tears for no reason. I would have a racing heart. I was panicked to the point where I did not want to go out my front door. I knew covid was standing on my porch waiting to take me out as if covid was the grim reaper. Fear took me into dark places. It did not allow me to live my life. There is no new normal, but now at least we see light.

Light is coming in way of vaccines. So many people are against them, so many are for them. It is a personal decision. I have family members who had covid and are fine but having a little protection has allowed me to still do the 6 feet, still wear my mask, but I do not feel like everyone is trying to give it to me. I am still terrified of getting Covid, but I feel a little bit more relaxed about going outside, seeing friends at a distance, returning to the church to worship with the vaccine I got. 

The photo above is from one of my trips to see my youngest in Charlotte NC. I love this city so much. It is clean, the people are friendly, where I feel I need to carry a weapon to be ok on the streets as I go to Atlanta. Charlotte is the queen's city and I miss it, but my kiddo is closer, and I rather have that way.

Life this past eighteen months has been challenging. We need to find ways to keep ourselves busy, a way to release the tension we have from being confined to our homes. For me it was drawing, sketching in pencils relaxes me, but so does water coloring, and hello, what I am doing right now, sharing my words with you dear reader.

As we all move forward to what comes next, I pray there is light in it that we all may feel the light on our face again, that we can hug our friends again, or perhaps venture out to, lord help us, where the people are! EEEEEK!!! We can do this. The first thing you need to do is take a shower, you are starting to stink, hahahaa, then try some real clothes, then open your door and baby steps, sit on your porch, and wave to your neighbors. Do not freak out if they come to the bottom steps of your porch to talk. You can do this!  

The new normal is not normal. We need to get back to what we feel is important when we come out into this light. We need to see what we have done during this chaos and see what normal looks like to us now. If you had things that before that were not feeding your soul, drop them, do not take them with you moving forward. On the other hand, with some light shining on you, look for what you want to do now. Perhaps take up pottery. Painting. Photography. Writing. Maybe being the best spouse to your partner. It could be anything you want. No one can tell you how to do this. No one.

I pray you find your next path, but if you cannot find one, then blaze one yourself. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, you are beautiful inside and out, and you can do all things you set your mind to. May you find peace in this next chapter of our lives.

Prayers and Blessings to you all in this chaos.

Your storyteller/poetess
Debbie xoxoxoxoxo