Circle of Life

 

As we move through this never-ending chaotic time called a pandemic, we are all struggling to just survive, somehow thrive and other times achieve. Each day throws more and more curveballs at us and we duck and dive to avoid them all. I have been battling exponentially anxiety. I have tried meds and they made me feel like I was in a fog. Other times I have tried art. Sometimes I  photo journal. Each day is a new chance for me to explore outlets that may or may not help.

I have struggled with anxiety through different patches of my life, but lately, I struggle to go to work, to feel ok in my office. To deal with other drivers who try to take my life with their horrible driving. I am constantly on the defensive. Covid has been a game-changer for so many of us in so many ways. All we do is want to make it to the next day ok. 

I have tried charcoal drawings ( I was very bad at them)

I tried sketching, painting, knitting, crocheting, walking, and throwing myself into about anything else I could come up with and here I sit with my anxiety rising again because of booster shots, variants and other unknowns. 

Life seemed hard enough living paycheck to paycheck, but now I'm doing all I can to keep myself safe in a world I feel is not safe anymore. We get up each day, we mask up, and we wash our hands. We stay away from closed areas with people and anything else we can think up that we believe will keep us safe. 

We were all just starting to feel safe and BAM a variant appears and we are all knocked back down. Even people who have been vaccinated are being hospitalized and are seriously ill. How do we live? 

The option to close ourselves off from others is strong. Everyone is a potential carrier. We struggle to trust.

I know it is safer at home, but at some point, we need to safely move back into our lives. Laying low will only get us so far. Yes be safe, but I'm still going to stores. I am vaccinated and masked up and I stay 6-10 feet away from anyone I can when possible. I do not know about you, but I refuse to keep living afraid of the world. I am friendly and I miss smiling at strangers. Life is such a challenge pre covid, but now it is a deep emotional struggle to exist and move forward.

I pray each of you is well. I pray we are done with this all at some point. I do not believe I can be ok with anyone saying this is our new normal. THIS is not normal. Saying hello to strangers in the check-out line is normal. Smiling at a sweet kid waving at us is normal. 

Let us all keep love and friendliness in our hearts. Let us be joyful. May we be filled up with memories of good times that it gets us through. This may or may not last, virtual school may be coming back, we may have a generation who cannot communicate, and who have massive anxiety. Let us all try to get through this difficult time together. Spread kindness in any way you can. 

May you be blessed today and may you be a blessing to someone else today as well.

Your story teller/writer/poet

Debbie

xoxoxox

PS. How are you REALLY doing? Please tell me. I am here. I am listening.