Heaven received a Good One

 My Mom, I have been silent here for a while. My mom lived in NJ and I was going back and forth. November 17th she passed away. I have no words to describe my life right now. I traveled back to NJ to help with everything from cleaning her room to calling banks where she had accounts. This photo is of her and one of her granddaughters sharing pizza. It was about five years ago. she could still walk on her own and I shall not tell you all the personal details, but after lots of hospital visits she said no more and Hospice was called. Once they were involved she passed two weeks later. 

To say me and my siblings are heart broken is an understatement , We .are running around lost. We have discovered we all have good and bad things and the ones who can do A, go and do it well, those who can do B, get it done! C waffles between A & B . Between the three of us we have gotten a lot accomplished. I have been reading a lot about grief lately and I have learned there is not one single right nor wrong way to do so. The book I am reading about it takes about who you wake up and for a brief second you think your loved one is still alive then you want up and you are alone in bed. 

Life is one long roller coaster. My mom used to say life is short, What you do in that short time in between your birth and death is what matters. The lives you touched, the people you helped, the loved ones lost and gained through life. We have started to donate to St. Jude's because our mom always did it every month, and us adult kids picked up where she left off. Life is troubling and happy and a mess. We knew her time was coming as she has been in and out of the hospital this entire year. 

When life becomes somethings you no longer look forward to you know its your time. Mom knew it was coming. I went up to see her earlier this year thanks to my son getting me a ticket to see her in NJ. I live in Ga. He went too and got to say goodbye to his grandma. Im still, and always I feel, never going to be over this. The paid may let up, it may not. I maythink this is my new normal, but

I know mom would not approve and she would say to make the most out of every mement we have.My mom was an amazing lady. She survived so much through her short 77 years. My co worker gave me $77 in honor of my mom. She is a sweetie. I am loved at work and I am spoiled by others.  I have a lot of my moms things with me now in Ga and I know wherever she is she is smiling down on all three of her kids as we struggle and fall and get up again and again as we try to navigate forward without her. 

She did right before thanksgiving and I am def not feeling so great about the holidays, but mom loved Christmas as I can tell you by all her things she gave me over the years for the holidays. Even my toilet seats have santa on them. Yep that was my mom. May she Rest in Peace until Neil Diamond joins her in heaven and they dance and sing till they drop from exhausted. 

Here is her Obituary if you want to see who I am talking about. I pray you are well. Your heart is healed or healing and life is treating you kindly.

https://www.bradleyfhmarlton.com/obituaries/Anna-May-Ghanim?obId=29936542

Much love in this holiday season.

Hope to see you all online again soon. Know I'm doing a lot of self care and mending my shattered heart one small piece at a time.

Debbie

xoxoxoxo Happy Holidays!