Scents and Memory

 

Scents hit me like the waves of grief I am dealing with. They hit my nose and suddenly I remember the smell of flowers my grandpa and I grew as a young kid. A perfume my grandma wore floats past me as a stranger walks by. Flowers blooming smelling of jasmine and sunshine tickle my nose and I am magically transported to another time in my life. Scents are powerful reminders of times remembered. 

When my mom passed away I struggled, and still do, with attaching a scent to her. She hadn't worn perfume in years. I did go in and have coffee with her each morning when I went up to visit her. Let me say CPAP machines and oxygen masks are what I remember, so for this time, before she died, coffee was our scent. She Came out of her room to have dinner with me and the family on my birthday. We celebrated my 55 with three mini cupcakes each. Chocolate for us both. 

Today I went to a coffee shop and the smell as I walked in, and I began to cry. I blamed it on allergies, got my coffee and mini cupcakes, headed outside to sit in the sun, cried for missing my mom so much my soul hurt, and enjoyed a cupcake in her honor. She would have enjoyed them and laughed with me. She was one to celebrate. One year I said we did nothing for my birthday and she told me to bring a piece of cake and call her and she could have one too, so we could celebrate and eat cake across the states.

Coffee in my mom's area of the house was a highlight of my trip. It was a moment each day for the seven days I was up that I could spend just with her. It wasn't any outing we went on. It was not any special big event. It was just the smell of good coffee, my mom and me. The scent has always been a favorite, but with my last memories of her being of us having coffee alone in her kitchen, just chatting about the day, life, her health, my life, my writing, whatever it was, all that mattered was the scent of coffee being the last scent I attach to her. 

My mom passed away in November 2023 and today and every day, I make my coffee, smile up at her and say cheers to her up in heaven. Then I imagine us both taking a sip, sitting back, and contemplating the day ahead of both of us.  Scents carry many memories for all of us. A favorite flower, a perfume, the scent of leaves being burnt, the garden hot house full of blooming roses, whatever the scent, it can carry us back in time like a magic trick. I am thankful for coffee with my mom every time I went up to visit for thirty-plus years.

May today be will with the magic of scents to transport you to a happy memory.

Love your friend,

Debbie xoxoxo

Ps still dealing with riding the waves of grief, may be all find the peace we need.