Broken Hearted Mother's Day

 Family comes together for all sorts of reasons: birthdays, weddings, the loss of a loved one, and on and on it goes. My family likes to gather around a firepit, have wine, relax, and talk until the lights attract the bugs, and we all go inside. Then we scatter to their own homes, after we say our goodbyes, hugs and kisses.

And then we do it for the next birthday. This was my 50th. You can tell my mom doesn't look like she an handle standing, She needed both knees replaced, but with Afib and COPD she was not a candidate for it.

My mom was always moving so much most of the photos of her are a blur. Even when she was sitting down she was wiggling all over the stool or chair. She likes being in motion. 

My mom passed away a few years ago, the anniversary of her death is in November. I feel it barrelling down on me.

I wish I had more time with her. I wish I could have gone to NJ and seen her more, but life is life and you do the best you can. Right now I barely pay the bills, but they get paid and I am happy. My mom was the same way, we are two peas in a pod. We both struggled financially. 

She was my best friend, I would call on my 30 min commute and she would tell me about her health, her car, and her bills. We would commiserated together. And then she was gone, and it was just me.