Documenting my life

 

I have been moving around a lot mentally and physically lately. I turned 57 and I realized I document the people around me lives, but not me. I started taking more selfies. I put myself in front of the camera where I am not comfy, but I want photos of me to exist to the one life I lived to the fullest. Recently I went to Colorado to see my kiddo and Spring will find me in NJ. I want to see the people I love more! I want to leave photos of their mom, so they can see me after I am gone.

Why is it easier to document everyone else around me, but not myself. Why do I find it so hard to be in FRONT of the camera? My grandpa always had a camera pointed at me when I was young, so may that is why I rather be behind instead of in front of the camera.

I document the places I travel to, I document family events, I document everything other than me, but maybe this blog is my documentation. I do have an Instagram and I post my life to. #debbsga It is where I try to capture my life, my world, all the things and people around me. I do not have a lot of photos of my grandpa, because like I said he was always behind the video camera, or camera. He liked being out of the spot life like I did. I am not a fan of someone aiming a camera at me, but lately things have changed. 

I took a trip to see my kiddo and I was hiking alone and I thought, this view is stunning, this view should be captured, this is worthy of  taking a photo, but then I thought, I needed to take a photo of me doing the things. We went to a corn maze yesterday and I snapped more photos of myself.in the corn maze, I documented myself. I am trying to show more of my life for the people I will eventually leave behind. I want my life remembered as someone who liked to hike, someone who liked to explore and someone not afraid to be captured in a frame.

Life has been a you know what storm, it comes and goes and it ebbs and flows. Life is gaining friend, losing loved ones, its hard seasons and easy seasons. Its ups and downs and life coming at you at a high speed trains pace. This life has hit me hard for most of my life. I feel I have had more hard seasons then good ones, but maybe I have had equal and the hard ones I just recognize more. Maybe I need to focus more on the good days, the good times spent with family, and then I will notice the good more than the hard.

Perhaps my focus needs to shift and then I can enjoy the good seasons more and work my way through the hard ones with more grace. My life, and I am sure yours has moments of heartbreak and moments of awe. I choose joy. Yesterday was the first time I was so excited to go through a corn maze. Heading out for a fall event made me so happy and I realized that I need to do more that brings me joy. I need to go to events, I need to take the trips and spend the money, I need to do more that I enjoy even if no one else wants to do those things with me. I am responsible for my own happiness and by me taking selfies, I know my family will look back one day and say, " Look how happy she looked." Because at the end of the day I was, I am, and going forward I look forward to more photos, more adventures and more of me in a photo.

May today bring you joy in all you day. May your day be filled up with love and may this be an easier season for you. 

Your friend,

Debbie

xoxoxoxo