Darkness On My Doorstep

 

Chen YiChun

Depression seems to have many of us in its grips coming out of 2020. More people voted this year, but they also record numbers sought help. Many ended the year speaking with a therapist. And darkness was held up at the doorstep and not let in. I know for many though they suffered alone, in pain, and in the darkness. Guild and shame stopping them from going into the light to ask for help. Mental illness still has a stigmatize associated with it, so people fear for saying they are not doing ok. They say yeah I am fine but inside the darkness is crushing their souls.

For my 2020 held my family in fear. Trust was an issue of who went where and why. As so many families ours was ripped apart. Darkness has been on my doorstep more than once this past year. Many tears, on my part, were shed. Dealing with depression and anxiety this year held me back. When I wanted to do A, I did W. when I wanted to go here, I stayed in and cried. Community, family, and living my life all had darkness surrounding them. I was put on anxiety meds, but felt horrible, so lessoned on them to only end up with a horrrrrrrible allergic reaction. I damn near clawed off all my skin. 2020 you were so NOT fun.

As we enter this new year we are filled with hope and some of us are filled with depression and anxiety and that is ok. I believe we all need to feel our emotions. We need to let them wash over us repeatedly until we reach out for help. In whatever you can getting help is very important. To break this dark circle surrounding us all, help is needed, help is encouraged, help is available. Now some of us may see a therapist. We may find our tribe of like minded people, we may need big or bigger help, the key is to seek it. Talked to your friends about how you are doing. If we all discuss our mental health issues openly it will allow others to follow in our footsteps. 

Depression is real. It is knocking on my door from time to time, but I get the help needed. I talk to the right people. It took me some time to find the right people. Life seems so full of chaos with this pandemic, but you are not alone. Darkness does not have to be your only companion. Please if you are suicidal or hurting in any way, please reach out to someone professional and say you need the help. There is no weakness in asking for what you need, only strength. 

May 2021 find us all in the light full of joy. Find something joyful daily. Look for it and you will find it.

Happy New Year, happy light days, may this year be of benefit and blessings to us all.

Your story teller/writer

Debbie

xoxoxoxo