May this Be of Benefit

 

To say we are in troubled times I do believe is an understatement. When this all started people were signing out windows, working out together with a trainer on a roof while they stayed in their apartments, trumpets were literally played and people danced in their homes to the cacophony of sounds, but now, after months and months of dealing with this insanity known as Covid-19, it mutating, it threatening us more and more, we have stopped being so civil to each other and now our hearts are hardening. I feel if this keeps on our human spirit will be broken and we will not recover emotionally.  I say bring back the music! 

My anxiety through this all has grown. I have struggled with feeling safe in my own home, at work, and in any food store I went to. I have struggled to breath on days I felt like life was done. This has not be an easy "new normal" for me. Also "new normal" is not a positive spin. This life right now is difficult to navigate at best. If we say that this is normal, well honestly my depression will deepen. I need to know there is an end, that life will return to before, not normal. I pray I am not the only one who is struggling. I feel I am not. Sharing my anxiety and battling depression is cathartic for me, but also I hope it helps others realize they are among a strong group of people, warriors who are breathing one breathe at a time.

Covid has made us realize so many things, but for me it is the connection. It seems to have been severed overnight with loved ones. No more birthday parties, no more gatherings for the holidays, we all hunker down and stay in and maintain six feet and wear our masks. We are all fragments of what we were before. My family has had its share, some say get the vaccine, others say no, rifts have been made and who knows when and if they will be fixed. Covid has left me leery of anything good coming my way. It has fragmented my beliefs in others, in my community, in humanity. 

When and if we emerge from this time, I pray we all do it together. We realize we all endured and we know that we can rebuild relationships of all kinds. That we all moved through this together and we ill all end up stronger on the other side. We still do not know what the long time side effects of this illness are, but we also do now know what we will all look like on the other side. Life has had its ups and downs, but I hope in the end, when we get back to shaking hands, hugging and bringing families back together, well I hope then mine and everyone else's anxiety and depression lesson. That it slowly fades back to something annoying to deal with instead of something stopping me and you from breathing.

Know we are all in this together, even if we are all in this apart.

Stay safe, wear your mask, and maintain at least six feet.

Happy Weekend

Your story teller/poet

Debbie xoxoxoxo