another night slips by

So once again,,its 12:10 AM and im awake. Im starting to think I need to move to the city that never sleeps, NYC. Im not so much on the city life tho. I wouldnt mind a country home,with a wrap around porch and living the life of taking photos on the farm,,working it and writing about it,,while I turn around and make pies :)

Recently I wondered,,Am I looking for anything in life or am I happy? I feel myself wanting more out of life. I long to be more. I am a single momma, I am going to school this semester fulltime. I work my butt off at anything I put my mind to, but am I still searching. You know the saying when you are young,,what do you want to be when you grow up? Im my grandma's time , women got married and kept a home. In my moms time, some wives worked while others raised a family. And now in my time, Ive done the married, the job, the raising the what do I want out of life?

I am an artist. I love adventure. Today while taking an assessment test, I was told my ideal job was in farming industry. I think the computer meant, living someone beautiful and taking photos. Dont think it wanted me to milk a cow, but then it hit me, I love to create. With school I put my photogtaphy and drawing and other artistic talents on the shelf. Am I happy with that? No. So im pushing myself ,,again, to enter more art competitions. Attend more art exhibits. I like being home, I like not socializing. Im happy on the couch, but I realize now,im not. Im content on the couch,,not happy.

In a world that tells us what we should do based on gender and societies beliefs, do we need to follow them to be happy? Can we make our own rules and succeed and enjoy happiness? Why is it when you are happy someone tries to come along and knock you down. In todays world, why cant we just be happy for each other?

Just a little something im pondering. And if you are interested....Im now on smugmug as Debbie Ealer.
I hope you will come check it out. Flickr and Etsy are nice,but smugmug is more of a professional site to showcase your work. Keep in mind I just started uploading to it today and I have thousands of photos to go over, but I love how it looks so far. As we get older I think we tend to close off more, at least I do,,this is my attempt to open up and share my gift with the world.

As I ponder doing another photography competition, I cant help but think, photography makes me happy. My grandpa always had a camera and I think I definately take after him. Starting Sat if youd like to share.Please leave me a comment with a few lines of something you are writing,,maybe 5 lines. Pick something you are working on that makes you happy. Ill try to remember to put something up friday night that you can comment to about it, Im calling it the Saturday Post. Like the newspaper name. Please consider joining me.. I think ill post 5 lines from a poem.

Lets all go what makes us happy. And now off to get some sleep :)
Sweet Dreams


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