the struggle is real

The struggle in life is real for so many reasons. Relationships. Papers for school. Hunger. Homelessness. So so many things in the world we struggle with. We keep saying at college: The struggle is real. But you know what it's small comparatively when you see the bigger picture of Nepal, Boston, and other areas of the world having so many bigger problems. With this in mind, most of us concentrate on our world, our bubble, and I do not judge. I have myself just been like, I am good,I am in my bubble and let me work on that.

Well right now I am struggling with who I am. For the longest time I thought I knew, but with finishing college in a year, so many questions have popped into my head that need exploring. Am I the kind of person to go to France and try to get into a Creative Writing program, am I the kind of person who looks locally for a job and is happy living here and not leaving the area, am I the kind of person who wants to sell the house, move cross country, and work for an Indie publishing company? I find myself at a crossroads in life, with my identity and my path.

Now don't get me wrong, I am thrilled to be finishing my degree and having so many opportunities open in front of me, but I just need to find out who I am before I know where to go in life. Just like relationships, you reach a point where you are saying , do I stay or do I go? And it is not always about the person you are with, it is about who you are, where you want to go, and do you want them to go with you?

Education is very important. Love is very important. Putting your education to work at something you love is vastly important. Now how do I get there? Or is there, here , and I work locally?

Life has a way of making us struggle, but you know what? I firmly believe life will answer my struggle. I will get a job offer from somewhere and the struggle will end as I will know to take it or decline it. Some days I am all about being enough. Some times I know I am strong, but then there are the other times when your amazing friends remind you and you thank them, because you forgot you are enough alone.

As we all struggle in life, I hope we all maintain balance. Balance is a tricky widget. Balancing home and work,balancing friendships and love, balancing travel and home, balancing it all we struggle.
I strive to not struggle with balance, but I feel like even those days when I know I am enough, that I still cannot find my balance. I am an intense, in your face, kind of person, (lately ive gotten a bit better about balancing that), but you know its a struggle to pull back, to watch my friends hearts breaking and not say something mean about the other person who is hurting them. I am striving to listen more and shut the hell up.

Life is about choices, struggles, and balance. Who knew it was not about just going to work and coming home to make dinner? Buddhist believe we are constantly changing, not growing, but changing. Our cells change, our world changes, everything changes and there is nothing we can do to stop that. We have to embrace the constant change around us and learn to move forward with it. The only thing certain is we will all die. They do not mean to be morbid, but think about it, it is true. When we have so little time on this earth, do you really want to continually struggle?

I am deciding to make piece with my imperfections, to embrace my flawed, fragmented soul, and to learn to balance one foot at a time. I will make a constant choice of which way to go, and I want to live my life happy and know I am enough, always! (the enough part is truly a struggle)

I hope today finds you all holding  the right balance in your lives and know you are not alone. And if you do not have balance just wait a few min, because everything is changing and those who have balance wont in a bit and those who do not, will have it. Life is a many splendid thing. Enjoy it because you are only here a short time. Balance the struggle, know you are enough, and live life for crying out loud. What are you waiting for!!!???

your storyteller/poet
xo
Debbie